Woman One:
We are called to express, embody, share, celebrate the gift of life, and to pass it on! We are called to reach out, to deepen relationship, or to right wrong relations--those that deny, distort, or prevent human dignity from arising--as we recall each other into the power of personhood. We are called to journey this way, to stay in and with this radical power of love. When you do that for me, I am often overwhelmed by your generosity, and I may speak of the sacrifice you make for me. But we both need to be perfectly clear that you are not, thereby, practicing the virtue of sacrifice on me. You are merely passing on the power of love, gifting me as others have gifted you, into passing that power to do radical love.

Making the Connections: Essays in Feminist Social Ethics by Beverly W. Harrison, edited by Carol S. Robb, Beacon Press, Boston, MA. 1986. Reprinted with permission of Beacon Press.

Officiate:
As a representative of this community I need to ask you to affirm that you are ready to accept the legal parameters of marriage. By becoming marriage partners you are entrusting one another to serve as legal guardian over one another's bodies, both in sickness and at death. Do you accept responsibility to make all decisions for one another during sickness and at death?

Woman One:
I do.

Woman Two:
I do.

Officiate:
Marriage is considered by this community to be a joining of your life energies. Thus, henceforth all that you each come to own will belong to you jointly. If you someday, for any reason, choose to divorce, your marital estate will be divided equitably between you. Do you each consent to this legal merging of your resources?¹

Woman One:
I do.

Woman Two:
I do.

Officiate:
This community recognizes the right of every individual to enter into a marital partnership of his/her own choosing. This community also recognizes an individual's right to terminate a marital partnership in the event that he/she concludes the marriage has reached a state of incompatibility, and is no longer capable of meeting his/her needs. As a representative of this community, I need to ask each of you to pledge, as you enter this marriage, that if you ever decide to sever this union you will do so with due respect for one another. I need to also ask you to promise that if you divorce you will participate in a termination process so that both of you are able to come to an understanding of why the relationship is no longer workable.

Officiate:
______, do you hereby publicly declare that if you ever decide to sever this bond of marriage that you will engage in a termination process and treat one another with honesty and respect if you decide to divorce?

Woman One:
We aspire to make this union a lifelong partnership. We hope we turn eighty together! However, we recognize that we are both evolving people, and may change in ways that make us wonder if we can remain happily together as spouses, despite our best intentions.

Woman Two:
Therefore, we hereby promise that if we ever come to believe that we have, through our life experiences, developed irreconcilable differences, we will share with another why the relationship is no longer working and seek counseling to see if there are solutions we are not seeing. If those discussions do not lead to resolution, we will terminate our spousal relationship in a respectful and gentle manner.

Officiate:
As a representative of this community I also need to ask you to pledge that if you choose to become parents, that you will honor those responsibilities whether or not you choose to remain marriage partners. I also need to hear you pledge that you will continue to treat one another respectfully as you continue to parent your children.

Woman One:
If we become parents, I pledge to fulfill that responsibility regardless of how our lover relationship may change in the future.

Woman Two:
If we become parents, I also promise to view that as a lifelong commitment, and to treat you respectfully as my parenting partner.

Woman One:
We would now like to ask _______ and _______ to step forward to be our witnesses.

Officiate:
______, do you support ______'s and ______'s desire to merge their lives through this act of marriage? Would you like to say a few words on behalf of this union?

¹ If you disagree with the idea of totally communalizing your resources in marriage, it is very important that you state that clearly in your pre-nuptial agreement. You should then also make a statement to that effect in your marriage ceremony. For example:

Officiate:
______ and _____ wish to create a marriage with more independent financial arrangements than traditionally practiced in our culture. They would like to make a public statement to that effect, with you, their family and friends, as witnesses.

Woman One:
We, as two very independently oriented people, wish to have our marriage legally recognized by the State, however, we do not wish to totally communalize our resources.

Woman Two:
We have therefore drafted a pre-nuptial delineating the ways in which we desire to retain independent ownership of our personal resources in our marriage.